Cold
by FrankieFandom
Summary: One-shot. Pre-slash. With the power out in his apartment block Casey finds a way to get warm.


Stingray asked for a cold Casey so here's a short one-shot. There are some AU elements, it's slightly angsty but hopefully a little fluffy…

 **Cold**

Matt didn't know what had woken him up in the middle of the night until he'd been lying underneath his covers for one whole minute. The place was freezing cold and he couldn't hear the usual hum of the refrigerator coming from the kitchen. The power was out which only meant his heating was out too. It was 2am on February 15th during one of the coldest winters he'd ever experienced. He let out an audible sigh and groaned when he saw his breath create a swirl of white in the moonlit air. He adjusted the bed cover, his left foot accidently became exposed to the harsh temperature his room had dropped too, quickly he created a cocoon for himself atop of the mattress. He was almost tempted to get up and grab another throw from the bottom of his closet but the thought of his bare feet touching the cold wooden floor was enough to stop him. He held the cover tightly as he moved back onto his right side, not wanting to become exposed to the artic temperatures beyond his cocoon.

He closed his eyes and waited for sleep to overcome him. After an unknown amount of time he opened his eyes again, unable to drift off. He wondered if the whole apartment building was out, or the whole block, then found his thoughts wandering to Kelly Severide as they often did.

He imagined Kelly had been out on a date last night, it had been Valentine's Day after all, and the man wasn't one to be lonely on a day like that. Not like Matt. There was too much history there though, too much pain in his past, he had too many issues, he was unlovable, too damaged and broken. Too fragile and sensitive according to his long-dead father. Matt didn't date. He'd didn't do well with relationships. He didn't trust and couldn't relax, he wasn't sure of himself in his personal life. He was not the stoic truck lieutenant he was when he was on shift. It's like there are two versions of him and he has never been able to bridge the divide. He liked who he was when he was Lieutenant Casey. He didn't like who he was when he was Matt. Just Matt. The boy who had been pushed around by his father. The boy who had been emotionally neglected by his mother. The teenager who ended up being passed around from foster home to foster home. The teenager who trusted the wrong man. He'd lost his innocence and his ability to trust.

Could he trust Kelly Severide though?

He trusted everyone at the firehouse but that was different, he was Lieutenant Casey there and he doesn't have any issues, it's the personality beneath that was damaged beyond repaired, held together by old band-aids and tape.

As Matt, could he trust Kelly Severide?

He sure as hell wanted to. He had already opened up to him, his walls had been melted by strong liquor, but he had spoken to him, told him things he'd never told anyone else, he'd told him about his dad, about his mom and about the key, and Severide didn't hate him. He hadn't judged him or told him he was being too sensitive, that he should just man up, to stop being so damn weak, fucking faggot.

The image of daddy dearest made him physically move.

There was a thin layer of frost on top of the bed cover. He should have taken Severide's advice long ago. This apartment was too drafty. Too old. The landlord was an ass and it was a bad part of town.

He could feel himself getting colder and colder by the minute. He couldn't stay like this, but he still didn't want to get out from underneath the covers and lose the only warmth he had. He closed his eyes again, determined to fall back to sleep but sleep never came. He was too cold now and too uncomfortable. He flung the cover off and sat up on the side of the bed, noticing his phone was dead, but his battery powered digital alarm clock showed him the time. He stood up and walked over to the window, peering through the curtain to see the street lights were on. It must have just been his apartment block that was out.

As he pulled out a throw from the bottom of his closet a thought occurred to him and instead of getting back into bed, he slipped on the same clothes he'd been wearing the day before plus some more over the top, left his room, pulled on his sneakers, grabbed his car keys and coat and left his apartment.

He wacked the heating up in his truck and proceeded to drive around Chicago for an hour.

Matt was exhausted. Exhausted and still cold. The heating system in his truck was far from great and he ended up parked up around the block from Kelly's apartment, too tired for it to be safe to drive and the location was one he knew well. He often parked here when he would join Severide for a run or workout session. The warmth that had accumulated in the car quickly faded and the condensation from his breath made patterns in the air. The radio clock on his dashboard told him the time but it didn't stop him from getting out of the truck and striding over to Severide's building, his arms wrapped around himself.

As he was standing in the lobby waiting for Severide to answer the buzzer it occurred to him that he probably wasn't even home, or if he was, there was probably a girl in his apartment. Besides, he was an idiot for even being here, he never just showed up, never wanted to put anyone out or be an inconvenience. Inconvenience. That's what he was when he was born according to his mother. They'd only wanted one child, and she had only ever wanted a girl. He'd been an accident, a drunken mistake apparently.

 _"Who is it?"_ Kelly's voice came through the speaker, hoarse with sleep.

"It's me, it's Casey…"

 _"Are you all right?"_ Kelly questioned quickly, suddenly sounding much more awake than before. _"I've unlocked the door, come on up,"_ he added before Matt could respond.

"Thanks…"

Kelly opened his apartment door to Matt five minutes later. Warm air escaped into the corridor. "What are you wearing?"

"Every item of clothing I own… well, almost," Matt quipped.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm cold," he responded, casting his gaze down to the floor when he heard the two words escape his lips. They were quiet, weak, childish. He was doing everything in his power not to turn tail and run right now, because turning up unannounced and then walking away was surely worse.

"Ok, come on in," Kelly said, stepping back from the doorframe and allowing Matt to enter. "I'll get the fire going."

"Oh, you don't need to go to that much effort," he objected as he walked into the lounge area. He was followed by Kelly who was only wearing a white t-shirt and some sweatpants that he'd thrown on after he'd buzzed Matt up to his apartment.

"It looks real, but its fake; it's electric, heats up real fast too," Kelly explained. "You can a hot bath too if you want?"

"Oh, I…"

"Or you can decide later," Kelly said, not wanting to make Matt feel any more uncomfortable than it was already clear he felt.

"Ok. Sorry about this," he spoke, kneeling down on the floor with Severide as he turned the fireplace on.

"How come you're so cold?"

"I woke up and the power was out, just my apartment block… my phone was dead," he added, an attempt to explain why he'd not given Severide any notice. "I am sorry about this."

"It's fine…"

Matt shook his head, wanting to give Kelly more of an explanation. "I was driving around with the heater on but…"

"Your heater sucks," Kelly said knowingly.

"Yeah, and I was tired, I _am_ tired and it wasn't safe and I was still cold, and I am sorry," he spoke sincerely, focusing on the fireplace rather than Kelly's close proximity.

"Don't sweat it, it's fine," Kelly responded, trying not to gaze too heavily into Matt's eyes as the reflection of the flames flickered in them.

"Thought you might have someone over," he said, looking over to Kelly's bedroom door. "Or that you might still be out…"

"Just me here, and I went out but I came home early," Severide told him simply, like it was the most normal thing in the world. They both knew it wasn't.

"That's unusual," Matt let slip.

"Yeah… to tell you the truth; I'm a little tired of it all."

"Of it all?" Matt asked, the words soft and gentle, almost a whisper.

Kelly just shrugged. "Reckon I'm getting too old for it, and I don't wanna turn into my dad."

"Benny is a good man?"

"He is, not the worlds best father or husband but, yeah, generally he's a good man," Severide responded.

"He was nice to me," he commented.

"Everyone's nice to you." Kelly smiled.

"Yeah…" Matt nodded a little uncertainly, after all he was exhausted and still cold, he couldn't be blamed for letting his guard down just a bit. He was shivering now too, teeth chattering, he clenched his jaw together, not wanting Kelly to see how weak he was. It wasn't even the coldest night they'd had so far this winter.

Severide touched his hands, not saying anything about how he flinched at the sudden contact. "You're still cold," he stated.

"I'm not _as_ cold," Matt responded, pulling his hand from Severide's hold.

"Your hands are freezing."

"I can't see my breath in the air, that's an improvement," Matt said with a small shrug.

Kelly just frowned at him before standing up and disappearing into his bedroom. Matt focused back on the flickering flames that lit up the screen of the fireplace. It didn't take long for Kelly to return and he was carrying a large plush throw, he unfurled it and draped it around Matt's shoulders, pulling it tight around his front until Matt took hold of the edges.

He smiled at him as he sat back down. "You look like a giant marshmallow."

"What…"

"Soft and…"

"Tasty?" Matt finished, eyebrows rising as his lips curled into a dimple inducing smile.

"Not what I was thinking of… erm…" He cleared his throat. "Talking of tasty; do you want something to eat? I can make something quick, and warm?"

"No, it's ok," Matt answered.

"Are you hungry?"

"I'm fine," Matt said, nodding as if to prove his words true.

"It's almost 5am, I'm hungry. I'm going to make you something…"

Matt stood up, the throw fell to the ground. "I should go, I am tired, I need to sleep but thanks for offering…"

"How likely is it that your power is back on?"

"I don't know," Matt responded after a moment.

"Stay here. You can sleep in my bed, I'll take the couch or I'll just stay up, was gonna get up early anyway… are you sure you don't want something to eat?"

"I should go…"

Kelly grabbed Matt's forearm, unintentionally harshly, he lessened his grip but kept hold of Matt's arm. "Please stay."

"Let go," Matt spoke almost warningly.

"I'd like you to stay. Could take all day for your power to come back on. I don't want you to get sick because you couldn't keep warm."

"Please let go."

"Sorry…" He freed Matt's arm. "Why did you come here?"

"Because I was cold," Matt replied.

"You could have gone anywhere. Could have gone to Shay's, hell, even Mouch's place… why did you come to me?" Kelly asked him.

"I…"

"Matt?"

He shrugged. "Because… 'cause I didn't think it would be weird, but it kinda is now…"

"That's my fault, shouldn't ask questions, I certainly don't need answers from you, explanations… I don't need anything from you…"

"Oh, right, I…"

"No, sorry, that came out wrong. I mean, you don't need to explain yourself to me. Ever."

"Ok…" he breathed out.

Kelly could feel Matt's breath. He wasn't thinking, he was looking deep into Matt's eyes, he leaned in, bending his head ever so slightly, but he stopped himself as Matt turned his head away. Severide then bent down and picking up the throw. "You need to get warm," he commented, wrapping it around him again.

"Ok."

"Matt… I don't want to hurt you."

"I know you won't hurt me," Matt told him. He didn't know though, but he didn't care, right now he felt safe.

"I will, and I can't hurt you, I can't…"

"Why?" Matt questioned firmly.

"What?"

"Why do you think you shouldn't hurt me? Do you think I'm easily hurt?"

"You do hurt easily, but you don't show it," Kelly explained, trying not to cross the invisible line.

"I don't hurt easily, I'm not weak, I'm not sensitive, I'm not…"

"I couldn't bear to ever hurt you, not again," he responded. Andy was on his mind now. He had hurt Matt than, he'd acted as if he'd killed their friend on purpose.

"You're right," Matt spoke up, sitting back down on the floor in front of the fireplace, letting out a heavy sigh. "I'm damaged goods…"

Severide joined him on the floor. Happy he wasn't trying to dart out of the apartment. "I don't want to add more to the list of crap things that have happened to you."

"You have no idea what's happened to me," Matt retorted.

"No, I don't… I'd like to know. I'd like to know everything about you."

"You're not gonna learn much," Matt responded wearily, eyelids drooping as he struggled to keep them open. He was warming up now, finally, and it only made him feel his exhaustion even more.

"C'mere…" He put his arm out. An invitation for Matt to lean into his warm body, to rest and make himself comfortable in front of the fire.

"Kelly…"

"Purely platonic. I promise," Kelly spoke straight away, arm still outstretched and waiting to curl around Matt's smaller frame. "I don't believe you're quite hot enough yet."

"What?"

"You love hot showers, almost scalding hot, you drink your coffee almost as soon as it's been poured, you wear a ridiculous amount of layers as soon fall hits and it's not until spring that you start wearing a normal amount of clothes, you prefer hot food to cold, when it's winter you always have the heater on full blast in your rig… it's no wonder you like running into burning buildings."

"Oh…"

"Oh?"

"Erm…" Matt cleared his throat, eyes flicking from the fireplace to Severide's gentle features. "You don't have anything better to do then… then watch me?"

"I like watching you."

"Is that supposed to be _not_ creepy?" Matt questioned, giving him a crooked smile.

"I like to make sure that you're ok, I like keeping an eye on you," he responded.

"Why?"

"So you know someone cares if you ever to need to know that."

"You care?" Matt repeated, head tipped a little, curiously.

"I care, Matt."

"Ok," Matt said, nodding. He moved over to Severide, leaning into his body, cautiously at first but he did trust him, he trusted him so he relaxed, letting Kelly hold all his weight, arms wrapped firmly around him as he lowered him down and they lay in front of the fireplace together.

Matt moved in his sleep, he nudged something soft and fleshy and he woke. It took a while to realise he was lying on the floor, although he couldn't recall why, and he didn't understand what the warm and comfortable object he was lying against was, because the last thing he could remember was waking in his cold apartment. Slowly the memories from the early morning returned to him. He almost physically gasped as he opened his eyes to discover that the soft and fleshy object was actually Kelly Severide.

He'd slept with Kelly Severide.

Or had he? His clothes were all in one place and there was still a plush throw wrapped around his body. He propped himself up on his elbows, still staring at Kelly's sleeping form. The fireplace was still on, and underneath all his layers Matt was hotter than he ever thought he could be, he was sure that Kelly's arm, which was still lying on top of him, had something to do with that as well.

Kelly stirred and smiled as he opened his eyes to find Matt gazing at him, his expression one of shock and bemusement. "Morning," he spoke, voice gritty from misuse.

"Morning," Matt repeated, unable to draw his vision away from Kelly.

"Are you warm now?" he asked, sitting up.

Matt nodded, copying Kelly and moving from his position still propped up on his elbows.

"Coffee?" Kelly suggested.

"Ok." He was still looking at Kelly, wondering how he could think that waking up together had been the most normal thing in the world.

Kelly stood up. "You like it strong, right?"

He nodded.

"I don't know how you can drink it so strong," Kelly commented.

"Years of practice."

Kelly chuckled. "Your tongue numbed to the taste?"

"And the scalding heat," he added, recalling their conversation last night.

Soon they were sitting together on the couch, knees touching as they drank their morning coffee. The whole apartment was warm, so warm that Kelly was still wearing just a plain white t-shirt, his skin radiating heat. They kept looking across at each other, each missing the others glance. The silence was palpable, neither sure of what was happening, or if anything at all was happening.

The Matt spoke. "Thank you."

"It really was no bother," Kelly responded with a nod.

"No, really, thank you. Last night could have been uncomfortable, you made sure it wasn't," he explained, running a finger over the rim of his coffee mug.

"I wasn't kidding when I said that I care, and that I'd like to know everything about you," Kelly explained.

"You don't want to know everything. I have issues."

Kelly nodded. "That's something I already know. What I don't know is why."

"You do."

"Your mom killed your dad. I know that, but I also know everything's much more complicated than that. You're complicated guy," Kelly said.

Casey turned to him. "I don't want you to see me any differently."

"That implies you know how I see you," Kelly responded with a small smile.

"Oh, yeah, I guess it does…" He trailed off, feeling like he was sinking into the couch, he wasn't sure if he wanted to sink away right now or not. He wasn't sure of anything.

"Do you want to know?" Kelly asked him

Matt remained silent, looking at Kelly.

"You are a good and pure person," Kelly said simply.

"I'm not pure," he retorted immediately.

"No?"

"No. Far from it."

"You can't change how I see you," Kelly told him. "You will always have the best intentions, you'll always be the good guy," he added.

He was shaking his head. "I messed up, when I was younger I… I messed up."

"We all mess up, especially when we're younger," Kelly retorted.

"Ok," he responded, nodding. Then he let out a chuckle, to Kelly's ears it almost sounded like he was trying to prevent himself from breaking down and letting tears flow. "That's all you're getting."

Kelly smiled warmly at him. "I can live with that."

"For now," Matt added. "I think maybe… maybe I don't have to hide with you."

"You don't have to hide at all with me."

 **The End**


End file.
